Butter Loaded Salty Goodness
by Charli Cameron
Summary: One jobless Halloween, Sam and Dean kill time watching horror movies.


"Orville Redenbacher's."

"I know."

"Theater style."

"Dean I know."

"With the pour over butter."

"I'm going now."

"And don't get light. Man I hate that shit."

Sam shut the door behind him leaving Dean alone in the room. Dean stretched back out on the bed and gazed at the ceiling. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to spend a Halloween just kicking back and chilling out. Certainly not since he and Sam had stopped trick-or-treating. And for the Winchesters Halloween had soon gone from a trick-or-treat childhood to a hunt-and-kill youth.

But this year…ah this year.

There was nothing to hunt, nothing to kill. No leads to follow, no mysteries to solve. No co-ordinates to head to and no where and no one they needed visit. Okay so they were stuck in a cabin in the ass end of no where, but at least they had a TV and video, a fridge full of cold beers and, best of all, a microwave. And for Dean that meant one thing – popcorn.

Butter loaded salty goodness.

Sam had lost the coin toss and had been sent out for supplies and as many horror films as he could rent. Dean tried to recall the last time he'd sat and watched a horror film, and couldn't. It just wasn't something the Winchesters did, too much like taking your work home with you. But tonight he and Sam were going to lie back on their beds, drink a few beers and see what all the fuss was about.

Oh yeah, and the popcorn.

Sam returned some forty-five minutes later, arms laden with bags full of the requested popcorn and three videos. "You know how hard it was to find videos?" Sam moaned "Everything is DVD these days."

"Do I look like I care?" Dean asked him as he doubled-checked the contents of the bags, "Good stuff." he said, nodding his approval, "So what did we get?"

Sam shuffled through the video cases, "We got The Exorcist and before you say you've seen it, I also know how much you love finding fault with it."

Dean chuckled "The power of Christ compels you? I mean seriously."

"We also got Dawn of the Dead, the remake."

"Good, because the original sucked ass."

"Only because the zombies were green."

"When have you ever seen a green zombie?"

Sam ignored him "And we got something called Boogeyman, if we make it that far."

"The title alone fills me with dread, and probably not the kind the producers were hoping for."

Dean grabbed the packages of popcorn and started ripping off the plastic covering. As the first helping was busy popping in the microwave Dean opened a second packet and took out the butter sauce sachet. Sam frowned "Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"I expect so."

The microwave pinged and Dean retrieved the swollen bag and carefully tore it open then emptied the contents of two butter sauce sachets in on top. "How can you eat it like that?" asked Sam.

"Quite easily." Said Dean happily between greasy mouthfuls, "Here, you can have the package with no sauce."

"Gee, thanks"

"Hand me a beer would you?"

Sam popped the caps on two bottles and handed one to his brother who propped himself up on the bed, content with his popcorn and beer. "Come on Sammy, put the film in."

Sam pushed The Exorcist into the VCR and sat back on his bed.

"Give me the remote." Dean demanded "I want to skip the boring stuff. Get right to the cocks being sucked in hell by the priest's mother. Man that line kills me."

"It's the only part of the film you do like."

* * *

"Shh shh," hissed Dean, despite the fact that he was one making all the noise, "She's gonna masturbate with the crucifix. That is so nasty."

* * *

"This whole head turning around thing is complete crap. If she'd turned her head all the way around she would have snapped her neck, which means…"

"Which means," sighed Sam "that when the possession was over the kid would have been dead. You say this every time."

"Don't get me started on the pea soup."

"Don't worry I won't"

* * *

"The power of crap compels you, the power of crap compels you."

"You promised you wouldn't do that."

"I did?"

"I'm turning it off."

"What's next?"

"Um, Dawn of the Dead."

"Pause a second for more popcorn."

* * *

"Damn those fuckers can move."

"Dean, zombies usually do move fast."

"Yeah but these bitches could win races. Look at them go."

* * *

"Sam, explain to me, what is this obsession that film-makers and writers have with zombies wanting to chomp on human flesh?"

"The audience demand it?"

"The audience are stupid. What the hell do they know?"

* * *

"I'm telling you right now Sammy that dog had better not die."

* * *

"Explain to me why there are zombies in the first place Sam?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because there are."

* * *

"Okay, how stupid do you have to be to cut someone in half with a chainsaw?"

"Well I guess the van was moving and being shaken and…"

"Do I have to repeat the question?"

"Pretty damn stupid Dean."

"That's all I wanted to hear."

* * *

"So what, everybody died?"

"Looks like."

"So the real irony is, if they'd listened to the security guard in the first place and not let anyone else in the mall, they would probably have survived a lot longer, maybe even have been rescued."

"I guess."

"Ha! I could totally have gone to college."

"You ready for the last film?"

"Bring on the Boogeyman."

* * *

"This guy is such a pussy."

"It's called suspension of disbelief Dean."

"It's called shut up bitch and get me another beer."

* * *

"Am I supposed to care about these characters? I hope the thing in the closet kills them all."

* * *

"What's with all the blue children? Is this supposed to be scary? Are you telling me people actually paid good money to go and see this piece of crap and they were scared by it?"

"Dean, you were the one that wanted to watch these movies."

"Not this movie."

* * *

"Credits. Thank god. Who wrote this piece of shit? Eric Kripke. I should hunt him down and rock salt his ass."

"Come on it wasn't all that bad?"

"That man should never be allowed anywhere near a horror script ever again…oh man, my bed is full of popcorn."

"Good night Dean."


End file.
